Notes To Heaven
I have added a page for notes, letters, and poems from family and friends to express our love and loss for Bethany,
I wish I could write like this, so for those of us that
can't let me just say "ditto" for us!
“Two
Years”
It’s been two years and
nothing seems the same
All we have left are your
memories and name
We talk about the good
times like you’re right by our
side
We speak of you by name
like you have never died
You may not be here to
physically touch or to feel
But, the feelings we get
are certainly warm, kind and
real
Two years have gone by, but
not without tears
Days seem like months and
months seem like years
It’s a journey we’ve
started with no end in sight
We do allot of things, but
nothing seems right
I just can’t explain all of
the feelings I get
I get happy and sad and
joyous and upset
There is no single road in
this journey we have taken
But every road is uphill
and our wills sometimes shaken
We just keep moving on with
your memory as our spark
To light up our hearts and
to fend off the dark
Someday we will see you and
meet once again
And that will be the
beginning not just the end
So until I see you I want
you to know
We all miss you dearly
since you had to go
Love,
Daddy
Printed in the October 5, 2007 edition of the Carroll County
Times
Death is
Nothing at All
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well
-- Henry Scott Holland
(1847-1918)
Sent
by our new friend, Jennifer
“Bethany’s
Flame”
Today, eighteen years old you would be
Filling our lives with love, joy and glee
But it was on October, the fifth of 2005
The last day we'd ever see you alive
The pain has not lessened since you went away
We are learning to live with it each and every day
We still go to the games and watch all the sports
But something is missing and seems out of sorts
It's your toughness, tenacity and all you would display
Or your encouragement when someone was having a bad day
You'd lay it all out there and never give up
Until the buzzer sounded and all time was up
You lived your life as you played every single sport
Whether in school, church, home or out on the court
You played every second of each and every game
Like it was your last and you'd never play again
And that's how you lived life, without any fears
Like somehow you knew it would only be sixteen years
We all love and miss you just the same
But deep in our hearts is "Bethany's Flame"
A flame that will burn and never die down
As long as we're here, you'll always be around
So its on your birthday that we want to say
That we love you dearly, and we'll all see you someday
Happy Birthday
Love,
Daddy
J. Ronald Green, January 11, 2007
(Printed in the January 17, 2007 edition of the Carroll County Times)
"One year Ago"
So
it has already been one year ago
That
your time was done here and you had to go.
A
daughter, a friend and a big sister too
God,
how much we all miss you.
Not
a day went by in the past year
That
I didn’t long to hug you and hold you near.
Every
single second of each and every day
I’ve
cried and cried since you went away.
Sometimes
I cry inside and sometimes out
And
sometimes I even scream or shout.
Not
much has happened since you took your place
Up
there in heaven in God’s amazing grace.
Sometimes
it’s hard to get up out of bed
Sometimes
I don’t sleep with thoughts of you in my head.
I
want so much to tuck you in and kiss you good night
Or
read you a story or just hold you tight.
I
know that’s not possible anymore for me
But
everyday I miss you, you see.
I
know I will see you when my time is through.
Until
then I suppose I have work here to do.
Whether
its tomorrow of fifty more years
Every
day will be full of more tears.
I
know it is then, when we meet again
We will rejoice in our love that will never end.
J. Ronald Green, August 12, 2006
“Hard
To Believe”
It
is hard to believe that it has been a year
Since
you had to leave and go away from here.
Far
away you went to heaven above.
But
still close enough for us to feel your love.
Everyone
seems to have their own way
Of
grieving for you since you went away.
Your
brothers, they miss you but seem to get by.
They
face the world every day with your look in their eye.
For
your mother and Dickie I can’t really speak.
But
they hold their heads up bravely when it’s your memories they seek.
Now
your Aunts, Uncles, cousins, Mama and Pappy
Take
it one day at a time while thoughts of you make them happy.
I
don’t know what story that they would tell
But
I know for me it’s been a living hell.
Some
days I think that I’m brave and I’m strong
Other
days I find it hard just to get along.
I
wish their was an easy solution for me
But
I guess time will tell and we’ll just have to see.
It
is hard to believe that it has been a year.
Since
you had to leave and go away from here.
We
all go out there bravely and try not to fear
For it is all of your memories that bring us
cheer.
When
she’s left here to wonder how life can go on.
I
know one mother who’s hurting you see
She’s
missing her daughter she named Bethany.
Bethany
left her way too soon.
To
go to a place higher than the moon
There
is so much her mother wont get to see
Like
graduate High School, College and some day marry
And
all of her grandchildren that she would bring.
For
their grandmother to hold them and hear them sing.
What’s
a mother to do when her daughter is gone.
No
one really knows except life does go on.
And
go on it does but its different you see.
It’s
a whole different world without Bethany.
She’ll
raise her two sons until they’re grown men
And
then she’ll wait to see her daughter again.
J.
Ronald Green, August 12, 2006
“Daddy’s Little Angel"
It
was seventeen years ago, this day
God
sent an angel named “Bethany Shay”
An
angel for sure as Mom held you tight
I
had never seen such a beautiful sight
We
took you home, our beautiful girl
To
start your new life in this great big world
Soon
you’re a big sister to Jim and then Zach
You
took on this task and never looked back
An
athlete, a scholar and best friend too
You
loved everyone and they surely loved you
We
watched you grow into the beautiful girl that you are
No
task, goal or dream was too big or too far
Where
you lacked in height at just five foot two
You
made up in love, courage and character too
How
wonderful it would be to give you away
A
beautiful bride would get married someday
We
found out abruptly it wasn’t meant to be
For
God had a much greater plan, you see
We
prayed, begged and pleaded but still lost the fight
God
called you home early on that October night
“Daddy’s
Little Girl” for sixteen plus years
I
still hear your voice singing in my ears
Even
though our plan just wasn’t meant to be
You
are “Daddy’s Little Angel” for all eternity
“Happy Birthday!”
Love
Always,
Daddy
( Included in the January 17, 2006 edition of the Carroll County Times )
Will There Ever Be a Day?
Will There Ever Be a Day,
When I Will Smile Again?
Will There Ever Be a Day,
When My Heart Will Stop Aching
And My Tears Will Stop Falling?
Will There Ever Be a Day,
When the Sun Will Shine Down on Me
And Truly Warm My Soul?
Will There Ever Be a Day?
Will There Ever Be a Day?
These Questions I Ask,
Started When You Left Us.
These Questions I Ask,
Will Remain With Me Always.
These Questions I Ask,
Can Only Be Answered By The Lord.
Will There Ever Be a Day?
Oh Yes There Will.
That Day Will Be In Heaven,
When I Once Again Hold My Beautiful Child.
That Will Be The Day,
I Finally Smile Again.
By Chrissy Green
Our Family Chain
We
little knew that morning,
God
was going to call your name,
In
life we loved you dearly,
In
death we do the same.
It
broke our hearts to lose you,
You
did not go alone.
For
part of us went with you,
The
day God called you home.
You
left beautiful memories,
Your
love is still our guide,
And
though we cannot see you,
You
are always by our side.
Our
family chain is broken,
And
nothing seems the same,
But
as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again...
Author Unknown
How Do I Cope?
A
Beautiful Child,
A
Dream Come True,
The
Birth of a Child,
A
Mother’s Greatest Joy,
The
Love I Show,
The
Pride I Feel,
The
Hopes I Pray For,
The
Life They Live,
The
Loss is Immense,
The
Grief Never Ending,
The
Death of a Child,
How
Do I Cope?
The
Feeling of Emptiness,
The
Missing Piece of Life,
The
Death of a Child,
How
Do I Cope?
No
Way to lesson the Pain,
No
Way to Fill the Void,
The
Death of a Child,
How
Do I Cope?
Prayer
and Faith are the Only Advice,
Time
Does Not Heal Only Lessons the Pain,
The
Death of a Child,
How
Do I Cope?
God
Has a Plan,
We
Must trust in Him,
But
I Still Must Ask,
The
Death of a Child,
How
Do I Cope?
By Chrissy Green
“When I Must Leave You”
When I must leave you for
a
little while
Please
do not grieve and shed
wild
tears
And
hug your sorrow to you
through
the years
But
start out bravely with
a
gallant smile;
And
for my sake and in my
name
live on and do all things
The
same, Feed not your loneliness
on
empty days,
But
fill each waking hour
in
useful ways,
Reach
out your hand in comfort
and
in cheer
And
I in turn will comfort you
and
hold you near;
And
never, never be
afraid
to die,
For
I am waiting for
you
in the sky!
unknown
Bethany Shay Green
(Chrissy's Eulogy)
I’m not sure where to start or if I’ll be able to get through this- please bear with me. Any of you parents know the feeling of holding your child for the first time, especially your first born- WOW! I remember laying in the hospital bed the night Beth was born. We were talking and trying to decide on a name. I gave her three choices for a first name. And all of you who knew her well won’t be surprised when I tell you she chose her name not me. Bethany Shay- what a beautiful name. Her middle name she allowed me to chose. My Aunt Cheryl’s nickname is Chez, spelled CHEZ, and she suggested her name but pronounced Shay, so I agreed but under the condition I could change the spelling. Well my Uncle Bill had a suggestion as well. He felt that William would be a perfect name whether the baby was a boy or a girl. I’m sure Beth would agree with the choice that was made.
From day one she was a beautiful, endearing child, she charmed everyone who met her and had her entire family wrapped around her little finger. When it came time to chose godparents, it only seemed right to ask my Mom’s sister Louise and my Dad’s brother Wayne. They are my godparents and for the most part I turned out o.k. They were honored to do it and this just provided another bond for Beth and I to share.
She shared her Dad’s view on life, live for today because you never know what tomorrow will bring. And that was Beth, in 16 short years, she truly lived a lifetime- thanks to all of you. Beth was able to go on a fabulous Caribbean cruise with a wonderful family- She went to Cancun, Mexico with another wonderful family- She spent many a night with any number of wonderful families. And who can forget the "Rocket" softball years where we toured the country or at least it felt like it. Those "Rocket" year memories are near and dear to all of us who experienced them, especially Beth. She traveled to Alabama, South Carolina, Kentucky, Georgia, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ocean City, and Dundalk which might not be a different state but always an adventure. Sometimes the trip going to and from the tournaments were as eventful as the trip. Like on the way back from Kentucky, we were following the "Neville" bus and stopped at one point and Beth got into their vehicle- little did I know what a good move that was because Beth threw up in their van and not mine. I know some of her fondest memories were her trips to Ocean City with her aunts and great aunt. Mom got to stay home which was actually a vacation for her. But truly Beth’s favorite place to be and this goes for all the grandchildren, is Mamma’s and Pappy’s house, also referred to as the Yeager Resort.
She loved life- she lived life! She truly could do anything she put her mind to and do it well. Beth never did anything ½ way- it was all or nothing. That was true with sports, school- life! There were times when she would try something new and they would say- oh she’s a natural at that and I would say please don’t say that we don’t have time for one more activity.
And of course we can’t leave out Mr. Dickie in Beth’s life. Sometimes I thought the two of them were brother and sister. One minute fighting like cats and dogs and the next minute hugging and carrying on like best of friends. Before I started to date Dickie I sat down and talked to Beth. I wanted to be sure she was o.k. with it. Mr. Dickie got the big thumbs up (thanks Beth?!) She even gave me some dating advise. And soon Dickie was added to the long list of people who loved Bethany.
It was wonderful to watch her grow up in this beautiful church at St. Joseph’s. She was baptized here, she had her first communion here, she had her first reconciliation here, she had her confirmation here- 4 sacraments down one more to go in my lifetime. Unfortunately I thought that was going to be her marriage and not her last rights. I had thought about her wedding day, hoping she would chose to be married here where I was. And knowing that my Gammy and Pappy who have long been deceased would be at her wedding just like they were at mine. They had the best seats in the house. Now she’s up there with them and many other wonderful people who are taking excellent care of her.
One thing that I am very glad I did was tell Beth, Jim and Zach that I loved them many times every day. I remember one time Beth was with a bunch of her friends and they were leaving to go somewhere and I told Beth that I loved her and she responded "love you too Mom". One of her friend’s mother’s came up to me and said how nice that was to hear. And she was amazed because her daughter would never have told her that she loved her in front of all of her friends and Beth did it so naturally. So I guess this is one last
I love you Bessie and I miss you! But you will always be in my heart!“When Will It End”
When will it end, I hear them say
This sorrow and grief you are feeling today
We’re sorry to hear that your daughter is gone
We know you’re in pain, but life must go on
It happens all the of time, young people must go
We’re sure you have seen it, in your job, you should know
Time heals all wounds and it always gets better
All of the say it, to the word and the letter
I just let them say it and get it off their chests
Everyone has a story and always knows best
I tell them to take their heads out from the sand
Here are my answers so they’ll understand
When will it end, I say never you see
For she is my daughter, her name is Bethany
This sorrow and grief I am feeling today
Will be with me always and never go away
Yes, my daughter is gone from here on this Earth
But, I’ve kept her in my heart since the day of her birth
She may not be here to hug when she’s cold
But, I will bear any pain for her memories I hold
Time heals all wounds, now that’s gone too far
For every wound that you get, there is always a scar
The pain may not be as intense as the first day
But, it’s right there inside you, and never goes away
Some days aren’t so bad, others I could scream
It’s these days she always comes to me in a dream
She tells me she is fine and that she is o.k.
Don’t listen to those people, do it your own way
When will it end, they ask one more time
A definite answer they are hoping to find
When will it end I hear all of the say
As long as I’m breathing, the pain is here to stay
J. Ronald
Green
January 17, 2006
"Two Little Brothers"
Sister, Oh sister where are you now
Would you come and see us, if you only knew how
We miss playing with you out there in the yard
You taught us the game and to play it hard
We were all out there playing and learning together
The game that you taught us, no matter the weather
There is just two of us now, where there use to be three
"Two Little brothers" and you, Bethany
We'd ask you to teach us to throw, catch and run
You taught us that that was just part of the fun
You said it wasn't the skill, task or part
You just go out and play it with all of your heart
And your heart it was as you gave it your all
As you taught all of us no matter how big or how small
It seems that it wasn't just a game you were teaching
Now we believe that you were actually preaching
You see now we understand that life is too short
To give a half-hearted effort, no matter the sport
We are "Two Little brothers" full of love, heart and spirit
You taught us to use it and never to fear it
Though it was too soon that you went away
It was the game of life you taught us to play
And play we will with all of our might
We will give it all our and never lose sight
As we continue on with the wind in our hair
No matter where we are, you got us there
Once our journey has come to an end
It is then we will see you, our sister, our friend
Love Your "Two Little Brothers"
Jim & Zach
J. Ronald Green
January 17, 2006
A
Letter from Heaven
"To
my dearest family and friends,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this to you from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there are no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day that I had to leave you when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and said, "I welcome you.
Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you where gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly, you're part of my plan.
There's so much we need to do to help our mortal man.
" God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores out of sight,
God and I are closest to you, in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
because you are only human, they're bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember, there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all what God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing's for certain, though my life on Earth is over, I'm closer to you
now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too, that as you give unto
the work, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
then you can say to God at night..."My day was not in vain.
" And now I am contented...that my life was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only a half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to
go...from that body to be free...remember you're not going...you're coming here
to me."
Author Unknown
If you would like to have yours added please me a copy and I will add it.