Notes To Heaven

I have added a page for notes, letters, and poems from family and friends to express our love and loss for Bethany,

I wish I could write like this, so for those of us that can't let me just say "ditto" for us!



“Two Years”

It’s been two years and nothing seems the same

All we have left are your memories and name

We talk about the good times like you’re right by our side

We speak of you by name like you have never died

You may not be here to physically touch or to feel

But, the feelings we get are certainly warm, kind and real

Two years have gone by, but not without tears

Days seem like months and months seem like years

It’s a journey we’ve started with no end in sight

We do allot of things, but nothing seems right

I just can’t explain all of the feelings I get

I get happy and sad and joyous and upset

There is no single road in this journey we have taken

But every road is uphill and our wills sometimes shaken

We just keep moving on with your memory as our spark

To light up our hearts and to fend off the dark

Someday we will see you and meet once again

And that will be the beginning not just the end

So until I see you I want you to know

We all miss you dearly since you had to go

 

                                                                                                                                             Love,

                             Daddy

Printed in the October 5, 2007 edition of the Carroll County Times


Death is Nothing at All

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well

-- Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)

Sent by our new friend, Jennifer


 

Bethany’s Flame”

Today, eighteen years old you would be

Filling our lives with love, joy and glee

But it was on October, the fifth of 2005

The last day we'd ever see you alive

The pain has not lessened since you went away

We are learning to live with it each and every day

We still go to the games and watch all the sports

But something is missing and seems out of sorts

It's your toughness, tenacity and all you would display

Or your encouragement when someone was having a bad day

You'd lay it all out there and never give up

Until the buzzer sounded and all time was up

You lived your life as you played every single sport

Whether in school, church, home or out on the court

You played every second of each and every game

Like it was your last and you'd never play again

And that's how you lived life, without any fears

Like somehow you knew it would only be sixteen years

We all love and miss you just the same

But deep in our hearts is "Bethany's Flame"

A flame that will burn and never die down

As long as we're here, you'll always be around

So its on your birthday that we want to say

That we love you dearly, and we'll all see you someday

                                                            Happy Birthday
                                              Love,
                                               Daddy

J. Ronald Green, January 11, 2007

(Printed in the January 17, 2007 edition of the Carroll County Times)


"One year Ago"

So it has already been one year ago

That your time was done here and you had to go.

A daughter, a friend and a big sister too

God, how much we all miss you.

Not a day went by in the past year

That I didn’t long to hug you and hold you near.

Every single second of each and every day

I’ve cried and cried since you went away.

Sometimes I cry inside and sometimes out

And sometimes I even scream or shout.

Not much has happened since you took your place

Up there in heaven in God’s amazing grace.

Sometimes it’s hard to get up out of bed

Sometimes I don’t sleep with thoughts of you in my head.

I want so much to tuck you in and kiss you good night

Or read you a story or just hold you tight.

I know that’s not possible anymore for me

But everyday I miss you, you see.

I know I will see you when my time is through.

Until then I suppose I have work here to do.

Whether its tomorrow of fifty more years

Every day will be full of more tears.

I know it is then, when we meet again

We will rejoice in our love that will never end.

J. Ronald Green, August 12, 2006


 

“Hard To Believe”

It is hard to believe that it has been a year

Since you had to leave and go away from here.

Far away you went to heaven above.

But still close enough for us to feel your love.

Everyone seems to have their own way

Of grieving for you since you went away.

Your brothers, they miss you but seem to get by.

They face the world every day with your look in their eye.

For your mother and Dickie I can’t really speak.

But they hold their heads up bravely when it’s your memories they seek.

Now your Aunts, Uncles, cousins, Mama and Pappy

Take it one day at a time while thoughts of you make them happy.

I don’t know what story that they would tell

But I know for me it’s been a living hell.

Some days I think that I’m brave and I’m strong

Other days I find it hard just to get along.

I wish their was an easy solution for me

But I guess time will tell and we’ll just have to see.

It is hard to believe that it has been a year.

Since you had to leave and go away from here.

We all go out there bravely and try not to fear

For it is all of your memories that bring us cheer.

J. Ronald Green, August 12, 2006


“What’s A Mother To Do”

 

  What’s a mother to do when her daughter is gone?

When she’s left here to wonder how life can go on.

I know one mother who’s hurting you see

She’s missing her daughter she named Bethany.

Bethany left her way too soon.

To go to a place higher than the moon

There is so much her mother wont get to see

Like graduate High School, College and some day marry

And all of her grandchildren that she would bring.

For their grandmother to hold them and hear them sing.

What’s a mother to do when her daughter is gone.

No one really knows except life does go on.

And go on it does but its different you see.

It’s a whole different world without Bethany.

She’ll raise her two sons until they’re grown men

And then she’ll wait to see her daughter again.

J. Ronald Green, August 12, 2006


 

“Daddy’s Little Angel"

It was seventeen years ago, this day

God sent an angel named “Bethany Shay”

An angel for sure as Mom held you tight

I had never seen such a beautiful sight

We took you home, our beautiful girl

To start your new life in this great big world

Soon you’re a big sister to Jim and then Zach

You took on this task and never looked back

An athlete, a scholar and best friend too

You loved everyone and they surely loved you

We watched you grow into the beautiful girl that you are

No task, goal or dream was too big or too far

Where you lacked in height at just five foot two

You made up in love, courage and character too

How wonderful it would be to give you away

A beautiful bride would get married someday

We found out abruptly it wasn’t meant to be

For God had a much greater plan, you see

We prayed, begged and pleaded but still lost the fight

God called you home early on that October night

“Daddy’s Little Girl” for sixteen plus years

I still hear your voice singing in my ears

Even though our plan just wasn’t meant to be

You are “Daddy’s Little Angel” for all eternity

“Happy Birthday!”         

Love Always,

                                                                                                         Daddy

( Included in the January 17, 2006 edition of the Carroll County Times )


Will There Ever Be a Day?

Will There Ever Be a Day,

When I Will Smile Again?

Will There Ever Be a Day,

When My Heart Will Stop Aching

And My Tears Will Stop Falling?

Will There Ever Be a Day,

When the Sun Will Shine Down on Me

And Truly Warm My Soul?

Will There Ever Be a Day?

Will There Ever Be a Day?

These Questions I Ask,

Started When You Left Us.

These Questions I Ask,

Will Remain With Me Always.

These Questions I Ask,

Can Only Be Answered By The Lord.

Will There Ever Be a Day?

Oh Yes There Will.

That Day Will Be In Heaven,

When I Once Again Hold My Beautiful Child.

That Will Be The Day,

I Finally Smile Again.

                                                           By Chrissy Green


Our Family Chain

We little knew that morning,

God was going to call your name,

In life we loved you dearly,

In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

You did not go alone.

For part of us went with you,

The day God called you home.

You left beautiful memories,

Your love is still our guide,

And though we cannot see you,

You are always by our side.

Our family chain is broken,

And nothing seems the same,

But as God calls us one by one,

The chain will link again...

                    Author Unknown


How Do I Cope?

A Beautiful Child,

A Dream Come True,

The Birth of a Child,

A Mother’s Greatest Joy,

The Love I Show,

The Pride I Feel,

The Hopes I Pray For,

The Life They Live,

The Loss is Immense,

The Grief Never Ending,

The Death of a Child,

How Do I Cope?

The Feeling of Emptiness,

The Missing Piece of Life,

The Death of a Child,

How Do I Cope?

No Way to lesson the Pain,

No Way to Fill the Void,

The Death of a Child,

How Do I Cope?

Prayer and Faith are the Only Advice,

Time Does Not Heal Only Lessons the Pain,

The Death of a Child,

How Do I Cope?

God Has a Plan,

We Must trust in Him,

But I Still Must Ask,

The Death of a Child,

How Do I Cope?

                                                    By  Chrissy Green


“When I Must Leave You”

When I must leave you for

a little while

Please do not grieve and shed

wild tears

And hug your sorrow to you

through the years

But start out bravely with

a gallant smile;

And for my sake and in my

name live on and do all things

The same, Feed not your loneliness

on empty days,

But fill each waking hour

in useful ways,

Reach out your hand in comfort

and in cheer

And I in turn will comfort you

and hold you near;

And never, never be

afraid to die,

For I am waiting for

you in the sky!

                                unknown


Bethany Shay Green

(Chrissy's Eulogy)

I’m not sure where to start or if I’ll be able to get through this- please bear with me. Any of you parents know the feeling of holding your child for the first time, especially your first born- WOW! I remember laying in the hospital bed the night Beth was born. We were talking and trying to decide on a name. I gave her three choices for a first name. And all of you who knew her well won’t be surprised when I tell you she chose her name not me. Bethany Shay- what a beautiful name. Her middle name she allowed me to chose. My Aunt Cheryl’s nickname is Chez, spelled CHEZ, and she suggested her name but pronounced Shay, so I agreed but under the condition I could change the spelling. Well my Uncle Bill had a suggestion as well. He felt that William would be a perfect name whether the baby was a boy or a girl. I’m sure Beth would agree with the choice that was made.

From day one she was a beautiful, endearing child, she charmed everyone who met her and had her entire family wrapped around her little finger. When it came time to chose godparents, it only seemed right to ask my Mom’s sister Louise and my Dad’s brother Wayne. They are my godparents and for the most part I turned out o.k. They were honored to do it and this just provided another bond for Beth and I to share.

She shared her Dad’s view on life, live for today because you never know what tomorrow will bring. And that was Beth, in 16 short years, she truly lived a lifetime- thanks to all of you. Beth was able to go on a fabulous Caribbean cruise with a wonderful family- She went to Cancun, Mexico with another wonderful family- She spent many a night with any number of wonderful families. And who can forget the "Rocket" softball years where we toured the country or at least it felt like it. Those "Rocket" year memories are near and dear to all of us who experienced them, especially Beth. She traveled to Alabama, South Carolina, Kentucky, Georgia, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ocean City, and Dundalk which might not be a different state but always an adventure. Sometimes the trip going to and from the tournaments were as eventful as the trip. Like on the way back from Kentucky, we were following the "Neville" bus and stopped at one point and Beth got into their vehicle- little did I know what a good move that was because Beth threw up in their van and not mine. I know some of her fondest memories were her trips to Ocean City with her aunts and great aunt. Mom got to stay home which was actually a vacation for her. But truly Beth’s favorite place to be and this goes for all the grandchildren, is Mamma’s and Pappy’s house, also referred to as the Yeager Resort.

She loved life- she lived life! She truly could do anything she put her mind to and do it well. Beth never did anything ˝ way- it was all or nothing. That was true with sports, school- life! There were times when she would try something new and they would say- oh she’s a natural at that and I would say please don’t say that we don’t have time for one more activity.

And of course we can’t leave out Mr. Dickie in Beth’s life. Sometimes I thought the two of them were brother and sister. One minute fighting like cats and dogs and the next minute hugging and carrying on like best of friends. Before I started to date Dickie I sat down and talked to Beth. I wanted to be sure she was o.k. with it. Mr. Dickie got the big thumbs up (thanks Beth?!) She even gave me some dating advise. And soon Dickie was added to the long list of people who loved Bethany.

It was wonderful to watch her grow up in this beautiful church at St. Joseph’s. She was baptized here, she had her first communion here, she had her first reconciliation here, she had her confirmation here- 4 sacraments down one more to go in my lifetime. Unfortunately I thought that was going to be her marriage and not her last rights. I had thought about her wedding day, hoping she would chose to be married here where I was. And knowing that my Gammy and Pappy who have long been deceased would be at her wedding just like they were at mine. They had the best seats in the house. Now she’s up there with them and many other wonderful people who are taking excellent care of her.

One thing that I am very glad I did was tell Beth, Jim and Zach that I loved them many times every day. I remember one time Beth was with a bunch of her friends and they were leaving to go somewhere and I told Beth that I loved her and she responded "love you too Mom". One of her friend’s mother’s came up to me and said how nice that was to hear. And she was amazed because her daughter would never have told her that she loved her in front of all of her friends and Beth did it so naturally. So I guess this is one last I love you Bessie and I miss you! But you will always be in my heart!


“When Will It End”

When will it end, I hear them say

This sorrow and grief you are feeling today

We’re sorry to hear that your daughter is gone

We know you’re in pain, but life must go on

 

It happens all the of time, young people must go

We’re sure you have seen it, in your job, you should know

Time heals all wounds and it always gets better

All of the say it, to the word and the letter

 

I just let them say it and get it off their chests

Everyone has a story and always knows best

I tell them to take their heads out from the sand

Here are my answers so they’ll understand

 

When will it end, I say never you see

For she is my daughter, her name is Bethany

This sorrow and grief I am feeling today

Will be with me always and never go away

 

Yes, my daughter is gone from here on this Earth

But, I’ve kept her in my heart since the day of her birth

She may not be here to hug when she’s cold

But, I will bear any pain for her memories I hold

 

Time heals all wounds, now that’s gone too far

For every wound that you get, there is always a scar

The pain may not be as intense as the first day

But, it’s right there inside you, and never goes away

 

Some days aren’t so bad, others I could scream

It’s these days she always comes to me in a dream

She tells me she is fine and that she is o.k.

Don’t listen to those people, do it your own way

 

When will it end, they ask one more time

A definite answer they are hoping to find

When will it end I hear all of the say

As long as I’m breathing, the pain is here to stay

   

                                                          J. Ronald Green

                                                                 January 17, 2006  


"Two Little Brothers"

Sister, Oh sister where are you now

Would you come and see us, if you only knew how

We miss playing with you out there in the yard

You taught us the game and to play it hard

 

We were all out there playing and learning together

The game that you taught us, no matter the weather

There is just two of us now, where there use to be three

"Two Little brothers" and you, Bethany

 

We'd ask you to teach us to throw, catch and run

You taught us that that was just part of the fun

You said it wasn't the skill, task or part

You just go out and play it with all of your heart

 

And your heart it was as you gave it your all

As you taught all of us no matter how big or how small

It seems that it wasn't just a game you were teaching

Now we believe that you were actually preaching

 

You see now we understand that life is too short

To give a half-hearted effort, no matter the sport

We are "Two Little brothers" full of love, heart and spirit

You taught us to use it and never to fear it

 

Though it was too soon that you went away

It was the game of life you taught us to play

And play we will with all of our might

We will give it all our and never lose sight

 

As we continue on with the wind in our hair

No matter where we are, you got us there

Once our journey has come to an end 

It is then we will see you, our sister, our friend

 

Love Your "Two Little Brothers"

Jim & Zach

            

                                                                                                         J. Ronald Green

                                                                                    January 17, 2006


A Letter from Heaven

"To my dearest family and friends,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this to you from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there are no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day that I had to leave you when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and said, "I welcome you.
Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you where gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly, you're part of my plan.
There's so much we need to do to help our mortal man.
" God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores out of sight,
God and I are closest to you, in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
because you are only human, they're bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember, there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all what God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing's for certain, though my life on Earth is over, I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too, that as you give unto the work, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
then you can say to God at night..."My day was not in vain.
" And now I am contented...that my life was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only a half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go...from that body to be free...remember you're not going...you're coming here to me."

                            Author Unknown


If you would like to have yours added please me a copy and I will add it.



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